I wish puppies could purr

Things I wish:

  1. I wish people wouldn’t swear on TV. (I’m not calling for censorship, mind you, I just wish people would have the decency to self-censor when the cameras are pointed at them.)
  2. I wish I hadn’t made decaf this morning.
  3. I wish the ice on my driveway would melt.
  4. I wish President Obama well. He’s got a tough row to how.
  5. I wish my wife felt better. I really wish my wife felt better.
  6. I wish I could speak Esperanto. And German. And Latin.
  7. I wish puppies could purr.
  8. I wish the people who make Internet browsers were forced into w3c compliance rather than the 2 million web designers. (At the moment if you want to design a web site that looks the same in FireFox, Chrome, Safari, Opera and Internet Explorer you have to write your code in a horribly uncomfortable way as the different browsers all use different conventions. Wouldn’t it be easier for the BROWSERS to be forced to use one language rather than making all the web designers in the world learn all the foibles of each browser?)
  9. I wish I knew how to run my business well.
  10. I wish Putin would just go away.
  11. I wish my cat weren’t diabetic, the poor little guy. He takes his shots so well every day…
  12. I wish common courtesy was more common.
  13. I wish Fred Phelps would realize, could realize the pain he’s caused spreading his hatred. If you don’t know Mr. Phelps, you can go to his website at www.godhatesfags.com to see his venom. You can also learn about how bikers have banded together to stop this man and his church from disrupting the funerals of soldiers at www.patriotguard.org. Yes, Mr. Phelps leads his church when the protest at military funerals, waving signs reading “God Hates Fags,” “God Hates America,” and “God Bless IED’s” (improvised explosive devices). Can you imagine losing your son, husband, father in Iraq, then having these guys show up at the funeral? So the Patriot Guard formed so we can stand in a line between the protesters and the grieving families. No one would care if the Westboro Baptist Church would protest in the grocery store parking lot, but at a funeral? Aw, come on… And they’re not even protesting the war, they’re protesting homosexuality for some reason. At a funeral. Kinda makes me wonder if Mr. Phelps isn’t hiding something, actually… (When my wife and I heard about all this it took us about twelve seconds to join the Patriot Guard.)
  14. I wish it didn’t take so much time out of the day to shower, brush teeth, find clean clothes, eat, etc. A guy I know once said, “If it weren’t for the necessities of being a carbon-based life form I could get a LOT more work done,” and I know exactly what he means.
  15. I wish greedy people weren’t.
  16. I wish I had an Egg McMuffin.
  17. I wish our school systems could truly teach the next generation. We’re falling behind. Maybe fund the schools so they could go to an 11-month school year or something? Take two weeks off for Christmas and two in the summer — that’s still a week’s more vacation than I had after 15 years at the print shop…
  18. I wish I knew earlier in life that most of the time people are cruel out of a sense of insecurity. It’s rare to find a self-confident bully. In fact, often the more a person feels the need to bully or dominate others, the smaller his/her delicate little ego. Truly self-confident people lead or inspire without belittling others. (Something to remember next time you vote…)
  19. I wish I’d spent more time with family when I was younger.
  20. I wish I spent more time with family now.
  21. I wish I didn’t have to worry constantly about money.
  22. I wish my wife didn’t have to worry constantly about money.
  23. I wish I could be more assertive at times. I tend to ask permission too often rather than just doing what’s right.
  24. I wish all Americans could speak intelligible English.
  25. I wish people would realize that we need to take our lives back from the oil companies for two reasons. If you don’t believe that carbon-based emissions are helping global warming, can you at least stipulate that it’s STUPID for us to keep buying oil from foreign countries — especially when many of them give naught but lip service to stopping terrorism? We’re funding the people who want to kill us. Regardless of the price of gas, please don’t buy a bigger car than you need. Encourage legislation that helps Detroit retool for electric, biofuels, hybrids, etc.
  26. I wish the roads weren’t icy. I miss my motorcycle.
  27. I wish I could relax.
  28. I wish Verizon would quit sending me e-mails telling me I’m eligible to upgrade my phone. Since when do I have to be “eligible” to buy something? If I want to buy a new phone, I’ll go buy one. And why do they think I want to upgrade my phone anyway? Was the one they sold me last year so shoddily manufactured they assume it’s broken by now? Do they think I didn’t know what I wanted when I bought my last phone? I’m perfectly happy with what I have.
  29. I wish I had an iPhone. They look SO much cooler than my cruddy old phone…
  30. I wish they wouldn’t make science fiction movies so spooky.
  31. I wish cats had eyebrows so you could tell what they were thinking…
  32. I wish I could sleep.
If you’re reading this on Facebook, you can see the original blog at www.radloffs.net, click on “Blog.”

10 thoughts on “I wish puppies could purr

  1. kirby

    Fred Phelps’ followers visited my community to protest my son’s High School – they were performing The Laramie Project, a play about the changes small town Laramie when through the year after Matthew Shepard’s murder in that town. Next to the School, on the front lawn of Christ Church about 100 church members assembled and stood with their backs to the protesters for the duration of their protest.

  2. Vegetable Assassin

    I wish I could come up with a list this good! 🙂

    And screw Fred Phelps. I’m pretty sure God wanted people to be cruel bigots, Fred, you assclown.

    I wish for more money and happiness for all of us this year.

  3. soul pumpkin

    i wish for all your wishes to come true…and forget the decaf, i mean, why bother?…puppies can’t purr, but they have that marvelous puppy breath…it should be made into a cologne…

    …oh, and cats with eyebrows?…that’s spookier than any science fiction movie…

  4. pistols at dawn

    I’m just mad that Phelps stole the url I wanted for my website.

    Still, I like to think poor in funds, rich in spirit, but mostly I just like to think that so I can imagine selling my spirit to buy some beer.

  5. Dale

    That’s a long list Chris but of things that should just be already. I hope next time, the list is cut in half. If the Egg McMuffin one comes true, can you get me some hash browns please? Thanks.

  6. Anonymous

    I wish America wakes up fast, since we are in deep shit.

    I wish we could leave Guantanamo open for those that do not serve the needs of the country. Those who put party or partisanship over the needs of the Country should be tarred and feathered and sent to Guantanamo.

    I wish there is a Hell, so those who preach hate, intolerance, etc, can reap what they sow.

    I wish that our BlogHost, can learn to segment his customer base, and focus his energies.

    I wish we could all pitch in and send Chris $10 each, for a night on the town with his Schweetie, and a solid six pack of Fat Tire.

    Lastly, Chris, narrow down your list. First things, first.


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