This is Not Good


It’s been three days, and I still can’t walk more than twenty or thirty feet without having to stop. I sit down and stand up like an old man, holding onto the arms of the chair with all my might… The left guy is fine, but the right one is still at least three times normal size (the damned thing looks like a plum). It aches when I’m still and hurts when I move. It hurts to sit straight; I can only sit for a few minutes at a time, then I gotta stand up or lie down.

This can’t be right.

I don’t know how I’m going to get to work today. I can’t imagine sitting for eight hours. I have a doctor’s appointment Tuesday… I hope they can tell me how long this is going to last.

Our insurance people promised they’d cover the cost of the procedure, minus the $250 deductible. I hope they keep their promise… I lost a day’s work last week, and it looks like I’ll lose more wages this week. That worries me.

On the upside, I’ve heard almost every testicle joke, pun, entendré, and obscure reference in the book. Some of them are pretty clever!

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10 thoughts on “This is Not Good

  1. Bluzlover

    Hope you start to feel better. Ice the junk down. It sounds like things have changed in the 15-plus years since I got clipped. They didn’t even put me under. I was doped up pretty good, but awake through the whole deal. Peace

  2. Chris

    Bluze — I don’t think much has changed… They didn’t give me anesthetic or anything, they just doped me up good (like you said). But I’ve been so busy lately I simply fell asleep on the table…

    Lady — You may not be old enough to remember this, but one of the very first computer systems that hit the general market was the Wang. It wasn’t a bad computer for it’s day, but it died from the weight of wang jokes piled upon it…

    All — I went to the doctor this morning (a day early). They told me that what happened to me is NOT normal, and that this is a pretty rare thing. The good part is that it’s not terminal… I guess things will get back to normal-size in a couple weeks. So there’s nothing for me to do but quit worrying and be patient. I’m thankful for the kind words you guys sent!

  3. Virginia

    Laughing a bit and feeling bad for you…My spouse is reminding me of the rest of his vasectomy adventure I started in my comments the other day – Iforgot about the plane trip that got diverted…A plane full of “clipped” guys bouncing around in a cargo plane for 16 hours…then the plane could not land so, 16 hours back to the base…you realy need to get him to share his tale of we with you. I hope all is well and you are feeling better tomorrow! XXOO
    Aunt V/Ginn

  4. Pixie

    Geez Chris… I’m so sorry… at least child birth was over in 32 hours.

    This isn’t right… I hope they can get you in PRONTO.

    Please keep us update… frozen peas… frozen peas are your friend right now.


  5. The Guv'ner

    OUCH! I don’t have plums but my non-plums are out in sympathy. My friend Jay had the V. a few years ago. He described the after effects as “being kicked repeatedly in the groin by a rugby player on speed” so that doesn’t sound at all pleasant. Feel better. And OUCH again.


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